After many hard lessons, I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't mean that we can't have goals, or want to improve or expand ourselves, but if we reject or find fault with the people we are now, we will always reject/find fault/not be OK with those people, even when the circumstances do change. We will always be depressed.
Of course we'll have better health with good nutrition and exercise, and we'll most likely feel better due to balanced hormones created by good nutrition and exercise. As good as those things are for us, I've slipped back down the junk and comfort food slope many times.
I love junk and comfort food, especially fried chicken, Coca-Cola, and chocolate cake from Costco. I love the how it tastes, and how it reliably comforts me and makes me feel safe and that everything's going to be OK. Of course it won't be. It's exhausting to keep going through these cycles every couple years where I freak out when I get back up to a 14 and then drive myself and everybody around me crazy getting back to an 8, until eventually something happens and I go back to my old habits, and back to a 14.
I'd rather finally lick it once and for all, so I don't have to go through it again, so I can enjoy wearing cute clothes, and getting the preferential treatment you get when you're thinner, and oftentimes even making more money as a result of being thinner and/or more confident. At this point, I've decided I love myself even more than I love fried chicken, and I am making a commitment right here and now to significantly reduce my consumption of it, so I don't have to keep putting myself through this hell of losing it/getting it back/losing it/getting it back.
No comments:
Post a Comment